My empty bed

When I am with you, we stay up all night,

When you're not here, I can't get to sleep.

Praise God for these two insomnias!

And the difference between them.

-Rumi

        It is a cold spring day here and I am sad that I had to get out of bed at all. I wish you were here when I woke up so I could creep out of my bed in my warm pajamas and run back to the covers where you waited. We would sit in bed and listen to the rain and talk about all the things we always want to but never have time to. When we had nothing more to say we could just lay there curled up under a mountain of blankets together. We would pretend it was still winter and we had to hibernate.

On days like this, that is what I always think about. Those days back in my small room in New Zealand where we would spend whole nights awake and whole days asleep. Some days soon those times will be back again. Maybe while your here when it is warm we can wake up at dusk when it starts to cool and watch the sunset, staying up till dawn to see the sunrise only to go to sleep again. Some day, some day soon.

There are two baby owls in the warehouse. They look at me when I drive my forklift around. It is so loud and they can't sleep. They wonder what I am doing awake and why I don't stay up all night like them... I just think how much I would rather have my owl here so that I can do that same.

I love you sweet pea. And I know that you are stressed and worried now. But you should know that I am thinking about you all the time. I am so proud of you for applying yourself.  I miss you like crazy and am so excited to see you again soon. You are amazing.

“The simple lack of her is more to me than others' presence.”
-Edward Thomas