It is interesting how a time period can bring about such a strong lesson. As though a weekend would have been crafted for the sole sake of serving as an example of what not to do. This weekend for me was that weekend. You see, like some carefully crafted play we all had roles to act this weekend. It seemed by the end we had created a moral to a story that could not be denied. Although, obvious it seemed the actors, so focused on their lines, places, and acting overlooked the message in which we brought to life.
You see we had all the roles cast perfectly. The confused lover, torn between two girls. The thoughtful friends of the light hearted girl offered small, supporting roles. Along with the enchantress and her long time friend. They took center stage, each moving us through the story with their long winded speeches and broad, pointless gestures. By the end of the show, I was confused as who I was backing. So many twists and turns that you felt ever character had changed so much beyond what you thought they could. So many sacrificing themselves and your belief in them in order to get an upper hand is such petty arguments.
It seemed as the final curtains lowered this afternoon I was left with the impression that perhaps love never played a role in this production. This was not a love story, it was a passion story. This was a simple game of tag played out though the bedroom. Kids running without knowing why, kids chasing, with little more reason.
It seems it is just the norm. My brother once told me that when you boil it down, the only thing two people will ever ask is “do you love me?”. It seems that relationships feel like love, people feel close, people feel special. But that answer is rarely simply “yes”. It is always, “yes, if you stay fit” or “yes, if you uproot your life to move with me” or “if you make enough money, I will” or “yes, if my friends are impressed with you”.
Rarely is that answer yes. And so we chase yelling, I will stay fit, I will be better, I will impress your friends. Or we run thinking, I will love you so long as....
But like a person finding appreciation in life in a time of war, I have developed a new appreciation for my own relationship. Something that Rose told me, every hour being an hour before she sees me. Ever paper a paper before we are together. That is how I feel about her as well. One less shovel before I hold her in my arms. One less phone call before I sleep next to her. Because it is reversed for me. My business is my passion, but Rose is my love. I will love my business so long as it moves with me to be closer to Rose. I will love my business so long as it stays fit or as long as it impresses my friends. But Rose is my love. And the answer to that question is yes for me. I know I love her.
It made me realize this weekend that I have something that many people strive for. Two people simply saying they love each other at the same time. That doesn't come around nearly as often as we are taught, nor does it always last that long before that delicate balance is lost again. So I suppose this isn't a post saying I am mad at my friends for making a mess of it all relationship-wise. Nor, is it a message that all relationships are delicate and doomed. It isn't even a message that mine is always going to be balanced or strong. I think the main message I took home about this weekend is that it is so rare to find someone that thinks the same things at the same time when it comes to the people in the relationship. When the answer is both yes, that is rare, really rare. Right now, I just want to appreciate that in my own life. We think the same thing at the same time, with our minds, or hearts, and our plans, I think that is something extraordinary. Something that comes around so few in lives from what I gather and I am truly I have found it and am able to be apart of it.
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